It’s two days before your sweet sixteen and I’m having all.the.emotions.
It seems like it was yesterday that I found out I was going to be your mama. There wasn’t a whole lot I was sure about then, but I was absolutely sure I wanted the job.
Some days I don’t feel any more qualified for this position than I did during those first few days, but we’ve made it pretty far.
I will never understand why God chose me for you, but I will always be thankful that He did.
I want you to know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Before you nothing quite made sense. After you everything did.
I want you to know how proud I am of you.
It’s not the average proud that lots of moms talk about but I like to think it’s a bigger kind of proud. Especially for you. It’s a throat welling up kind of proud that I could never fully put into words.
I want you to know that you inspire me.
You give me hope.
You make me believe that anything is possible, because just look where we are, Babydoll. We’re doing just fine.
I had no idea then that things would turn out so good, but you are my proof that God’s promises are real.
You were the first piece to my puzzle. The beginning of everything right in my my world.
In just 16 years you’ve taught me more than I could ever teach you in an entire lifetime.
I’ve watched you grow so much over these last few years and I honestly just want to stop the clock and freeze everything because at the rate things are going you’re going to be well on your way out in the world the next time I blink and that.is.not.okay.
As much as I want to hold on and never let you go, I still urge you to get out there and try new things, meet new people, and show the world what you’ve got.
I know sometimes it seems like I push too hard and I’m sorry for that. It’s hard to find the balance between pushing you to face your fears and being patient enough for you to find your way in your own time. But, I should know by now. You’ve got this.
You always have.
I used to worry about you everyday. I’d wonder if you would be strong enough in a world that seemed to always misunderstand you. I worried that others would never quite get you and that some of the struggles that you’ve had would always be present, but you’ve shown me that we are not defined by the struggles we have. We are defined by what we do with them.
I know you’re going to do great things and the amazing man we’re starting to see is only a glimpse of what you’re going to put out into the world when it’s your time.
God has big plans for you, sweet boy.
Stay close to Him and He will always direct your path.
I love you more than these words could ever tell you.
Thank you for making me a mother.
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