Stop the Apology Posts!

You’ve read them a thousand times. I’m even guilty of writing a few myself.

“I’m sorry I haven’t posted much this week. Life has just been so busy.”

“I can’t believe it’s Friday and I haven’t posted since Monday!”

“My blog is so neglected.”

Sound familiar?

We need to stop the apology posts!

stop the apology posts

I’ll be the first to admit that blogging can become a bit narcissistic if we let it.

Who do I think I am, anyway? Are my readers really waiting at their computer screens every morning for my most recent rant? I seriously doubt it. 

Do they really have the time to read my posts every.single.day?

Does my not being here for a few days really call for an apology? 

News flash: I’m not that important. 

For some reason, posting once or twice a week isn’t enough. If we only post once, our bloggy guilt sets in and we start making apologies via social media or hitting publish on a lame “I’m still here” type post with no substance.

Bad blogger. 

I know the feeling. I’ve been there a thousand times.

I see other posts come through my email feeds as glaring reminders that I’m not keeping up and the comparison monster steals my focus.  

I let myself fall into the pit of an overabundance of blogging advice and numbers watching. I feel pressured to produce and I listen to the lie that something is better than nothing. 

I’m not falling into this trap anymore. 

I love blogging and I treasure the community! Those of you who read this blog? You are the cream in my coffee and I want to talk to you everyday! 

But, I want to write when I have something to say and I only want to hit publish on posts I feel good about. That’s not to say that everything I publish is quality, but at least I’ll know I tried. I want to know I put my heart and soul into it and it wasn’t just fluff to keep up with a daily post schedule. 

I have lots of blog post ideas stirring in my content calendar. Heck, I even told all of you how to plan one year of blog post ideas!

Yet, every time I sit down to write lately, I’m interrupted by something or someone. Having lots of ideas is one thing, but finding the time to turn those ideas into actual posts? That’s a different story!

You know the drill. Everything else comes first. Life’s demands are calling and mom is the only one who’s answering.

At the end of the day, I don’t get to the blog. 

And?

It’s OK. 

I post less. 

And surprisingly, the world keeps turning. 

I wear many other hats during the day and blogging is just one of them. I know it’s the same for you too!

In my real life world of homeschooling, raising a teenager, and helping my husband run a business, this blog takes a back seat.

I wish my blog held up more against the demands of other things in life, but the reality is it’s still a work in progress. It doesn’t pay the bills. It doesn’t clean my house, rotate the laundry, or cook the dinner. 

If I’m not here, it’s because my focus and heart is needed elsewhere. 

I’m prioritizing.

What’s to apologize for in that?

It’s a blessing to have kids that need me, a husband who depends on me, and many other hats throughout the day. 

It’s a full life and I we should all stop apologizing for living it. 

****************

Speaking of not being able to post every day, I’m over at Homeschool Blogging talking about how you can get more from blogging by posting less! I’m thrilled to announce that I’m joining the awesome team of contributors there (squeeee!!!) and I’d love it if you came over and took a look around! 

You can also read me at The SITS Girls this week! I’m sharing my list of 10 design elements all blogs should include

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Wife. Mother. Dreamer. Writer. Blogger. Florida homeschooling mom. Imperfect parent surviving on God's grace and mercy. My writing is always honest, sometimes sarcastic, and never perfect. Welcome to my mess! Find me as @TheMommyMess on Twitter and connect with me on Facebook.

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Comments

  1. says

    Hi Adrienne! I’m new here, but I’m definitely going to keep coming. :) I could not agree more! I never apologize for my absences or quiet weeks because I do NOT assume that people are waiting with baited breath for everything I write. And I would SO rather write quality over quantity, so two posts a week it is! (For the most part) And even that ebbs and flows. Loved this.
    Erica – Let Why Lead recently posted..The Difference Between Being a Single Parent and Parenting SoloMy Profile

    • says

      Exactly, Erica! I don’t see the need for apologies. And quality wins over quantity any day! It’s all about going with those ebbs and flows. ;) Glad you found me!

  2. says

    Yep.. wish I had the time to post every day but I don’t and that’s okay. I”ve got a family to raise, a business to run and another blog to oversee and grow (ahem… ;) ) Plus, like anything else, if we force it then it becomes it’s own job and not our “escape”.
    Kristen Daukas recently posted..Cure for Cabin Fever and ChillsMy Profile

    • says

      I love blogging too much to let it become something I no longer enjoy. It’s important to stay focused on the fun of blogging and less about the numbers and keeping up with the Jones’.

  3. says

    I agree – lol it sounds silly when you read it but I think bloggers feel a ‘responsibility’ to their readers. Honestly, we’re all human and we get busy, things happen – we blog by choice not by force. :) Have a wonderful day Adrienne! -Iva
    AwesomelyOZ recently posted..The ‘Coarse’ of ActionMy Profile

    • says

      I get that! I do. My readers mean the world to me and I think that’s a big part of feeling the pressure. What I’ve learned? They’re here when I get back. Amazing. ;)

  4. says

    Oh man is this the truth!!! I am so guilty of this too. I feel so inadequate when I see those bloggers managing to post every day – sometimes twice! – even on weekends and holidays. But, I have many other hats I have to wear every day too, and sometimes my blog just has to wait. Great post!!!
    Marie Pugh recently posted..How To Make Chalk Paint – My First ProjectMy Profile

  5. says

    Such a great post! I have felt like this a lot lately, but started realizing at the end of the day that my blog is just a blog and my family and raising kids is a heck of a lot more important that talking about it in a blog. Although it still is tough when you are trying to do something for yourself and improve your blog.
    And definitely agree with quality over quantity!!
    Ana @MommysBundle recently posted..7 Ways to Keep Your Toddler Busy in WinterMy Profile

    • says

      Of course, I want to grow as a blogger but I won’t do it at the expense of neglecting other hats. ;) My kids and my husband are my present. My here and now and I need to pay attention! ;)

  6. says

    I have never apologized for not blogging. Or blogging too much.
    It’s silly and unnecessary.
    I understand that blogs that act as journals for other family members may need to feel the need to apologize to their family for falling off the face of the earth (and only then, sometimes), but for the rest of us, nope. There are a gazillion blogs out there to keep everyone busy. No one’s noticing you blogged less. Until you point it out. :)
    Agree with everything you said!
    Alison recently posted..What’s In It For Me?My Profile

  7. says

    100% with you Adrienne! My blog has taken a back seat since I’ve moved, I read other blogs much less – and you know what? That’s just the way it has to be right now. I blog when I want to. Period. This is one of the only areas of my life where I actually get to make the rules. Not an area where I need to feel guilt.
    Ilene recently posted..Saying Goodbye to the Skull CapMy Profile

  8. says

    Oh my goodness, I totally agree. I never apologize because it’s one of my biggest blogging pet peeves to read! I’ve been thinking the same thing lately, and you know what, the days I don’t post it’s fine and I’m not about to just put a post up to post. So, taking a day is ok and I usually come back more inspired.

  9. says

    Thanks Adrienne for writing this piece. I for one haven’t apologized in posts, but I have felt guilt. As much as I want to take time out, my priorities are my home, family, husband, then everything else including blog. I am living it, but I need to have a sit down with myself on time management. I even have a schedule of everything I do during the week. This is in my mind and need to force appointments with myself. So I am committed to getting on top of things and getting out of my own way. Perfectionism likes to creep in and I think about how conditions have to be perfect in order for me to create and write. This is not my reality though, spontaneity and stepping out of comfort zone with not so perfect conditions needs to happen, need to tell brain this!!lol Life happens! I found this post very liberating and I know it will help so many.
    Thank you,
    Christina

  10. says

    You won’t believe this (or maybe you will) but the TWO blogs I read right before I got here both had apology posts about not posting enough! You are so right. We need to stop burdening ourselves with this kind of guilt. It just serves to make us feel stressed and nervous for no reason. If you post a little less this week it will be okay. Sometimes that’s how it is. Your readers understand. It’s funny how we are nicer and more understanding toward others than we are to ourselves sometimes. –Lisa

  11. says

    I couldn’t agree more! I think its all about prioritization. While I love my blog, sometimes life just happens and there are other things more important that supersede me getting a post up. I just have to let it go and know that it can wait until tomorrow or the next day. I don’t apologize for that, because at the end of the day our blog is our virtual self. It doesn’t have the real life issues that we have, a family to take care of, or even itself. I know my readers know this and understand, plus most days even if I don’t get a post up I’m on social media. At least by checking in on those sites I still have a presence. I’m okay with taking a day or two off and just focusing on my life without blogging being in the mix, and I don’t apologize for that. The blog will always be there!
    Tenns @ New Mama Diaries recently posted..New Year Cleaning Resolution Tips + Printable #LiquidMuscleMy Profile

  12. says

    I recently posted a “I started a new semester so I’ll be a bit busy” status on my fan page but there was no sorry involved. Just a heads up for information purposes.

    I get tired of reading “I’m sorry” all the time, especially when there’s nothing to be sorry about. Definitely agree with you on this one!
    Kim recently posted..My 500 Words and Project 365: Why I’ve Gone SilentMy Profile

  13. says

    Hi Adrienne! I just found this post and it’s was perfectly timed for me. :) I have been having an ongoing “discussion” (read verbal brawl) with myself about just this subject. I worry that I haven’t been posting enough and my type A side is belittling me and calling me worthless, while my quieter and more peace-seeking side has been asking the exact questions you posed above, “Who do I think I am?” and saying, “Nobody has even NOTICED that you haven’t posted since last week.” I have not ever posted an apology post to-date and now, thanks to you, I have that boost of confidence that I needed to just keep going. I don’t NEED to apologize for being less than my potential…because I haven’t been. :) Thank you for this!
    Just Trixie recently posted..25 uses for Lavender Essential Oil and a Free PrintableMy Profile