I’ve become painfully aware of my own personal struggle to find joy in the everyday moments of life and I’ll admit, I’m ashamed.
On most days, I complain.
I complain that the house isn’t clean enough.
The couch we have is old and needs to be replaced.
I need more space for this or that.
It’s too hot outside.
The kids bickered all day long. I wonder why?
Nobody ever eats the same thing.
No one else seems to notice the giant mess on the dining room table.
When I begin to clean up the mess myself, I complain.
Does anyone else notice this pee crust on the toilet?!
Who left this junk here?
Why are there clothes in the hallway?!
Whose drink is this? Why can’t you two put your names on things?!
Shut the door!
That was our home most of last week.
I complained while everyone around me was miserable.
It’s a selfish way to behave and I know this, yet I’m unable to control my next complaint or negative outburst.
That’s not my heart for my family, but my actions say otherwise.
It’s not the mom and wife I desire to be and it’s certainly not the mom and wife God has called me to be.
I have a problem with complaining.
It brings those around me down and creates a negative atmosphere in my home.
It robs me of my present blessings and keeps me from experiencing true peace and contentment.
It shows my husband I don’t appreciate the hard work he does everyday to keep me home, and teaches my children to do the same.
But most of all it creates a wall between me and God.
If I’m not living a life filled with praise I will never find contentment.
Lately, I find myself constantly thinking of things I don’t have, places I haven’t been, and circumstances I wish I could control.
I think about the “if onlys” and worry about the “what ifs”.
Being convicted of this is one thing, but actually doing something about it is another thing all together.
Each new day comes and I vow to not complain, but then something or someone inevitably annoys the crap out of me.
Here’s something I’m learning: When it seems like everyone else is the problem, it’s time to admit you’re the one who needs to change.
I think that’s the first step in finding my way to contentment.
Do you struggle with being content?