My favorite blogs to read are those that I can really relate to. They offer up the kind of writing that makes me think, “I could have written this myself.” That’s what Mary’s blog is to me. A real glimpse into the mind of an everyday mommy. I love Mary’s stories. When I visit her blog, I feel like I’m sitting on her couch drinking coffee in her living room. I’m thrilled to introduce today’s featured blogger, Mary from A Teachable Mom.
I know you’ll just love her!
And That’s Why God Created Doctors
While I like to believe I know a little about many things, the truth is most days I’m running by the seat of my pants. Some days that feels fine, exhilarating even; I trust I’m parenting the best I can and getting support where necessary. Other days, I bury myself under the pressure of having to know the right answer before I take the next step. Apparently, in my own mind, I’m supposed to be omnipotent, able to leap tall buildings and discern when an ER visit is medically necessary.
Last week, in the middle of a Chicago-style snowstorm, our four year old, Rhys, started complaining of stomach pain. Her mild discomfort quickly escalated to wild moaning and writhing-on-the-floor pain. Relying on my extensive medical training (aka Google), I immediately recognized the symptoms of appendicitis and called her pediatrician to confirm.
After an interminably long time on hold listening to REO Speedwagon’s greatest hits, I spoke with a nurse who suggested watching Rhys for the next 30 minutes and taking her to the ER if her symptoms worsened.
Within moments of hanging up the phone, Rhys stopped screaming and said she felt better.
Relieved, I began my obligatory Google search for “appendicitis symptoms.” After quickly scanning 2,560,000 results, I convinced myself Rhys, now happily playing with paper dolls, was likely constipated and needed prunes. And oat bran.
Moments later, the nurse called, “If your daughter’s symptoms stop suddenly, take her to the ER immediately to rule out a ruptured appendix.”
Why didn’t I know that? I wondered, certain Google had failed me. When I explained that Rhys’s symptoms had indeed stopped suddenly, the nurse encouraged me to drive to the ER immediately.
As I bundled up our kids and cleared off the six inches of snow already accumulated on our car, self-doubt battered my brain …
Rhys seems fine. I’m making a mistake trudging all the way across town in a snowstorm. The ER docs are going to laugh or yell at me for taking up their time unnecessarily.
But suppose her appendix is about to rupture and waiting means she’ll be in danger?
Suddenly, I paused. What if, for once, I didn’t have to have all the answers? What if I stopped playing doctor and let those who have presumably completed medical school do their jobs?
Rhys looked pale and flushed, her eyes hot from crying, but otherwise subdued as we drove to the hospital. When we arrived to find children clinging to life on stretchers, I felt another pang of shame for using valuable resources for what was likely a case of gas.
When the triage nurse asked Rhys to point to a face that described how much pain she was feeling, she pointed to the first face indicating “no pain.”
“Are you sure?” I said. “Why don’t you look again.”
“I’m sure,” Rhys replied.
I’m screwed, I thought. Couldn’t she muster a moan or two now that we’re here?
The ER doc determined Rhys did not have appendicitis, nor was anything about to rupture. After a quick throat swab, the doctor informed me she had strep.
Not according to WebMd! I thought.
As we hustled to the pharmacy for the requisite pink penicillin, I questioned my discomfort: Are parents expected to have all the answers for their children?
I would never expect my friends to know how to handle every parenting issue perfectly. Yet, somewhere along the way, I determined that the parenting bar was higher for me. And just as I get close to that bar, I raise it up.
While I am my children’s best advocate, I’m still learning to put my baggage aside, trust my instincts and secure the best care possible for them. In the meantime, you’ll find me on Google, researching the latest … well, everything.
When not playing doctor, Mary Nelligan can be found blogging at atechablemom.com about the messy ups and downs of growing up with her two best teachers, daughters Ava (9) and Rhys (4). Make her day and follow her on Twitter at @ateachablemom and on Facebook at “A Teachable Mom.”
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Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Thank you so much for having me over to your place and for your kind words. I’m honored to be here! I hope we can meet for coffee in person some time soon!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
Twitter: themommymess
says:
That would be awesome! It’s great having you over!
Adrienne recently posted..10 Things Nobody Tells You About Motherhood
I relate to this. Had to take my 2 yo to ER last month, and I am glad I did but the whole time i was driving I was second guessing myself. Eh she is t that sick, right? Thankfully I went bc she needed a treatment and an hour later was just fine
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Thanks for relating. I’m happy to know your 2 yo is fine and healthy now. My self-doubt is painful – somehow I believe I need to know the answer before I get the help. I’m getting lots of practice letting go of this – 3 trips to ER in last six months! Ugh!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
Twitter: copilotmom
says:
I have had similar situations as a parent – and had the same should I/shouldn’t I moments. In the end, I usually decide that I would rather have a doctor tell me they are fine rather than wait and have a condition worsen. I would sacrifice my pride over their comfort. (Also, I am a bit of a Google MD, as well!)
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Dear Spring
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
I love “sacrifice my pride over their comfort” – you are one wise mama!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
Twitter: fiercedivablog
says:
I have played “doctor” with my kids more times than I care to admit – and Google has failed me numerous times as well! Strep be damned! My kids have had it as well when I thought their symptoms meant something else. I hope you baby is on the mend – and so happy to see you here! Great writing, as always!
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Thanks, Ilene! Strep is a mean one, no? Ava had it right after Rhys but she had the usual symptoms. Both girls are healthy and loud today (no school because of parent teacher conferences – yay!). xoxo
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
Twitter: TheDoseTweets
says:
Fantastic post!
Sometimes you’ve just got to trust what the experts tell you. Never feel embarrassed for doing that!
Medical people would much rather see someone who is actually well, than have someone come critically ill because they waited so long. ALWAYS. (they are also never upset if you call them, even in off hours, about easy things. There is nothing better than taking a call, giving an easy answer, and it’s all handled. They do not feel irritated. I promise. –Lisa (a doctor)
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Yes! You are the person I need on my speed dial! Screw Google, I’ve got you!
Thank you so much for your kind words and your perspective. I’m feeling more sane already!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
love your posts. i really feel like i know you.
so glad it was strep. as i write this, my 10 year old is in the other room, having just had his third dose of antibiotics for exactly the same. i never would have thought appendicitis though. have you googled being addicted to google?
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Third dose? Oh you poor mama! I hope he’s better soon! I’m off to google being addicted to google. I wonder if they’ll feature my picture in the results? xoxo
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
no no.. all good. by third dose, they’re miraculously better. right now, he’s doing gengham style dancing with 5 year old.
icescreammama recently posted..Like the fingers on my hand, each one is different
BIg fan of Mary’s blog.
A nice post here from her.
Damn Google – it’s all their fault. Anyway, glad the medical issue was not as serious as you first thought.
Btw, I am having this pain, do you think you could diagnose it for me? Ha ha.
You put so much stress on yourself.
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Thanks, Larry! I’m happy to diagnose – any excuse to Google. Don’t give me too much information on the symptoms though – more challenging/fun that way! Hugs to you!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
I can definitely relate! I think my husband will soon ban me from all kids’ health-related internet searches. The scary thing is though sometimes I end up actually being right!
Jessica Smock recently posted..Do Homeschooling Moms Show the Paradoxes of Modern Motherhood?
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Exactly! Sometimes I’m right too! Unfortunately, I usually go down the rabbit hole and waste a lot of time Googling when I could just call the doctor first. But where’s the fun in that?! Thanks for visiting my site today!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
I can relate to that! I freak out when the kids are “feeling warm” or sneezing, or pulling at an ear, or the stomach is upset….I almost always Google and “Worst Case Scenario” the situation. Sometimes an over reaction can be just that, an over reaction, but you did the right thing, and would have been kicking yourself if not. It’s ok to be overprotective, that’s why they call us “Momma Bears”. Case in point, I thought my hubby had severe indigestion about 2 months ago, and going to the ER proved correct with a 10 day hospital stay for a more serious issue. Sometimes second guessing, or guessing at all is best left to the REAL MD, and not the one on the Web.
I am very glad your little one is ok.
Jennifer @PinkWhen.com
Jennifer recently posted..How to Improve your Blog with Alexa
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Thank you! What a lovely comment. I’d like to proudly wear my “momma bear” badge and let go of self doubt in these situations. And your story about your husband is so scary. I love that you trusted yourself and went to the ER. Well done! I hope he is healthy and back to normal now. Thanks so much for commenting!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted..And That’s Why God Created Doctors
Twitter: TheMomCafe
says:
Sometimes it’s an inevitable dance of questioning and not knowing a damn thing!!! I can’t tell you how many times I have had Doctors ASK ME what I think it is… or what other treatment ideas I have… but caring for my chronically medically ill kids through their younger years (up til this year actually) I realized that often the very Doctors we place trust in, are the ones who have no clue and are learning along the way too. No one is perfect. It’s always about playing it safe. SO glad you went and got the meds for strep.
Chris Carter recently posted..“When Life Gives You Lemons…”