We had some friends over this past weekend. It was a low-key celebration for my husband and a couple of friends that share a birthday with him this month. Nothing extravagant. Just a nice time with two other couples and their children. Nothing beats good food and good friends.
A guest list of 11 people total.
In our family, 11 people is a big crowd. It’s 11 people living, laughing, and using our bathrooms. It’s 11 people walking around in our home. It’s toddlers wiping snot, big kids dripping sweat, and grown ups using our dishes.
It’s dirt dragged in from out back and door knobs being contaminated. It’s 11 people invading my son’s space.
It’s. a. big. deal.
But, on Saturday? It wasn’t.
As I sat back and watched our families enjoy the night, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that two years ago, we wouldn’t have been able to have that get together. The company would have been too much for my son to handle.
We’ve stayed away from things like this for a long time because nothing is more important to us than our child feeling secure in his own home. If you don’t feel safe at home, then where do you feel safe? Recent years just haven’t been our season for BBQs and big family gatherings.
And that’s been fine.
Words cannot begin to describe the joy I find in telling you that this past weekend my son showed remarkable progress.
No, Screw that! ”Progress” isn’t even a word that gives justice to what my son displayed. ”Progress” would indicate there’s more to be done. My son showed us he’s better!
He not only handled the company, the crowd, and the chaos with ease, but he was literally the life of the party! His comedic timing brought down the house and my face hurt from smiling and laughing at all of the funny things he said and did all night.
Where did this young man come from?
Seeing my son come into his skin is a beautiful thing. I don’t worry about him like I used to. I know now that he’s gonna be OK. I don’t know what God has planned for him in the near future, but I can sense it’s something amazing, and I know in my heart that he’s ready.
I don’t share his stories with you as much as used to. I want to. I do.
But, it’s different now.
He’s a young man.
They’re no longer my stories to share.
I find myself torn between the world of being a mom to a child with special needs and being a parent to a young man who seems just like everyone else.
I never want to forget any part of our journey! In fact, I’m hanging onto the memories that have brought us to where we are. I literally do not want to forget one single thing. I find myself obsessing about journaling everything I can remember for fear that I will actually forget. When I say I don’t want to forget, I mean I’m actually scared that I will.
Being my son’s mom has made me who I am. It’s shaped the kind of mother I’ve become, and taught me more than I could have ever imagined possible 14 years ago. However, I can’t help but want to put some of our journey where it belongs.
In the past.
Don’t get me wrong. We still have a journey ahead of us. There are still so many things that look different for him than other kids his age. But, the difference now is that he’s OK with it. He’s comfortable. He’s confident.
It’s such a a strange emotion to see him growing up like this. I’m not quite sure what to do with it. For now, I’m just gonna sit back and watch from the sidelines.
It’s his time now.
I’ve always known he’s more than his labels.
Now it’s just time for the world to know it too!
I can let go…
See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. -Isaiah 43:19