Today’s Featured blogger is someone special. Chris from The Mom Cafe has a passion for writing and shares a piece of her heart in each post she writes. Her blog is a place where you can count on finding a little humor, a little inspiration, and a lot of faith.
Chris and I share a heart for the Lord and I love reading her posts about her journey of faith and motherhood. If you’re not familiar with The Mom Cafe, then you are in for a treat. When I asked Chris to share a post, I simply asked her to share an honest mommy moment. A “mommy mess” of her own, if you will. I think we can all relate to her post today.
Please give a warm welcome to Chris!
Words and Looks…
Oh the power of words. They sting or soak our souls with a spirit of their own. I am profoundly impacted by them. Aren’t we all? They have a power that can break our hearts or launch our dreams. I wish I used them more wisely. I wish I chose to control my tongue and use it for good…all the time. There are so many scriptures regarding how we use our words. And yet…so easily I slip out words that discourage, disengage, dismiss, or at times destroy.
How dare I…
I am well aware when I do it. I am angry or frustrated or agitated or irritated. I know why I do it. I certainly know what causes me to use such harsh words. I know the impact of them and even know it is so wrong.
And yet, I still do it.
It’s not that I abuse my power as a mom and have intent on belittling my children or shaming them. It’s just that there are times when I am so mad or irritated or frustrated or angry that I somehow give myself permission to use words that I know will have significant impact and meaning. My words will make my kids stop and listen or change what they are doing, or remember next time, or treat another sibling with respect. I can justify my wounding words in that moment, apparently…or why would I use them? I am also good at certain looks that reflect my disappointment or anger. Sometimes those hurt more than my words.
I will spit out a few:
“Seriously? How can you forget AGAIN to brush your teeth/brush your hair/turn off the tv/bring your lunchbox home ETC? What is WRONG with YOU! ”
“Unbelievable. Pathetic. Really? And please tell me…what on earth were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? No. You were NOT thinking AT ALL.”
I am proud to say I usually don’t cuss (I use the word “usually” because the D word and the S word have been thrown around a few times). I refrain myself from also going “there” with the harshness of:
I just have a gift of conveying those words with less offensive ones. I believe my eyes may say more than my mouth at times. They truly yell those horrible thoughts going on in my mind that I don’t want to say because it would really, really hurt my kids. So I hold back the really dark words and throw in less extreme negativities and leave the crushing blow up to my eyes. They say it all. Sometimes the things unraveling in my mind are hideous. And I dare not share them out loud. At least I have some control…
I say as if this should make it all better.
Oh, I love my kids with crazy amounts of reinforcement and praise and hugs and kisses. They hold all those beautiful moments in their hearts. But they also hold all my nasty words and looks in their hearts too…
My words may pierce their hearts like daggers.
And my eyes may slash their spirits like swords.
Oh how hard it is to write this truth. Because writing it makes me accountable. Just as it should.
I will breathe through those exhausting frustrating moments, and not immediately purge my anger. I will inhale your Strength, Lord. And exhale your Grace. I will control my tongue and calmly pray… for peace within me before I speak.
I will try and try and try…
Oh, how I will try.
Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.