I have mixed emotions about labeling children. As a parent to a child with special needs, I know that sometimes a label is necessary.
I know first hand that when the wrong label is given to a child it is beyond frustrating.
I know that labels are necessary in order to provide the care and treatment a child needs.
I know what it’s like to feel relief to have one single word validate concerns you’ve had as a parent for years without anyone acknowledging your instincts.
And I know how a label can help you begin to walk down a path to treatment, management, and healing.
In 2010, my son was diagnosed with Asperger’s, SPD, and OCD. In a way, I was relieved. We had some direction, and for the first time in his entire life, I felt like we were getting somewhere.
So there we had it.
Three labels.
An alphabet of acronyms to lead us on our way.
Those labels have allowed my son to get the help he needs. They’ve allowed me to research how I can be the mom he needs. They’ve educated me and given me direction.
Those labels have helped my son have a better understanding of himself and others.
However…
A label might tell you you something about my child, but it could never tell you everything.
A label can’t tell you who my son really is.
It won’t tell you that he’s compassionate and kind.
He’s loving and helpful.
He’s respectful and diligent.
He’s a wonderful brother, son, grandson, and cousin.
He is a child of God with a heart for Jesus.
He works hard in school and amazes me with his intelligence.
He has an amazing sense of humor and can create a pun faster than anyone you know!
Words are powerful and sometimes labels suck.
Because we can’t pick and choose when we want to use them. As a special needs mom, I’ve needed labels.
But, labels don’t define my son.
They don’t define anyone, and we can never truly understand someone based on a label.
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So well said! A label does not tell you the whole story and stigmas on those labels are hurtful.
Denise recently posted..Heartbroken and Angry. We Must Do Something.
Twitter: themommymess
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Thanks, Denise!
Twitter: thedosetweets
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So well said. I mean seriously, 100% yes. We are all so much more than the way we are defined. Thank you.
Twitter: themommymess
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We all are!
Adrienne recently posted..Labels
Well said Adrienne!
Twitter: themommymess
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Thanks, Cindi!
Adrienne recently posted..Labels
I have fought the label: Kid with CF but the truth is…the hard truth is that sometimes, I have needed that label. I wish I knew your son. He sounds like a wonderful person and much more than the alphabet soup of labels.
AnnMarie recently posted..Chaos Stops For Nothing
Twitter: themommymess
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I’m thankful for them b/c it has helped me help him, but it can have a flip side too.
My son needed a diagnosis in order to get the help needed but I agree with you 175000% that that tells only a tiny part of the story. Your son sounds like a fantastic kid.
Robbie recently posted..Not Mine
Twitter: themommymess
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Thank you so much! he’s pretty awesome!
Twitter: kimahall
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Oh, yes. While some labels are visible, like your son’s, others are more hidden. I’ve often wondered what it would be like if we all walked around with labels: weary, needs a hug, struggling financially, etc. I think it would surprise us all how much we are all alike underneath and how the labels don’t really define who we are. Hugs to you, Adrienne!
Kim recently posted..Got encouragement?<br/>Time to give and receive: It’s a linkup!
Twitter: themommymess
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What a word picture that is, Kim. WE just never people are going though. Sometimes, a heads up wold change our perception.
I cannot tell you just how much I absolutely love this post. As a mother to a son with learning disabilities, who has (and still is) struggling to get an education for my son, that he deserves, I have a love/hate relationship with labels.
My son is in third grade and has still not been fully tested by the school as to a specific disability. He cannot read well at all. He cannot write well. It is a battle that I have been fighting since his first day of kindergarten.
I want the label so I and the school can figure out a plan and stop wasting previous years of early learning. I do not want the label to define my son. He is in an inclusion class but does not know. My son is an extremely smart little boy who just has a problem processing what he reads and what he has to write. He is a genius at math. He can have a huge Lego set together faster than I can.
I refuse to let the labels of learning disability, slow learner, and all the others define how the school and everyone around is define who he is. He is a star baseball player, the most caring and compassionate child. But I will be damned if the label I need to have to help him along in education ever interferes with who he is as a person.
Have a wonderful holiday.
Dani recently posted..And Just Like That, Life Gets Put Into Perspective For You
Twitter: themommymess
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Thank you so much for your comment! It’s tough when we need those labels for help our kids, but word are so powerful. I always wonder how they make my son feel? I know he’s older and understands so much more than he used to about himself, but I never want him to feel like one word defines him. Good luck to you and your boy! I’m sure you will get him everything he needs.
Twitter: fiercedivablog
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Amen. Words ARE powerful – and we all need reminders to look beyond the labels.
ilene recently posted..Coming Home
Twitter: TheMomCafe
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How can anyone be defined by one or two or three words? It’s impossible. To generalize a human being this way is impossible and those few words can’t ever explain or express any person. We are all complicated and amazing individuals with endless characteristics and aptitudes. Labels should be used for the purpose you described…and focused on specific needs and goals for growth. The beauty in your boy is multifaceted and has endless dimensions…as we all possess different ones in each of us. We are God’s gift. And our individuality is “wonderfully and fearfully made”.
Chris Carter recently posted..Silence and Support for Sandy Hook.
Thanks for a great reminder that labels do not define the person. I get really frustrated sometimes not having a label for my son if only because I’d be able to say “he has autism” (or whatever it is) when a parent is looking at me with judgment over a particular behavior (like when he screamed as if he were being tortured today when they squirted water on his head for a haircut). But you’re right and a label, while it may at times be convenient, wouldn’t help to define my son. Thank you. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog!
Came from Ellen’s link up.
Kristi recently posted..For ever and ever
I think of labels as a badge of pride, that God has chosen me to spread miracles.
Twitter: themommymess
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That’s a beautiful perspective, Anna!
Adrienne recently posted..More Heels, Less Milk
I think of labels as a badge of pride, that God has chosen me to spread miracles. I, too, have Asperger’s Syndrome.
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
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I absolutely agree that there is a use to labels – that having them leads to the path of treatment and bettering their lives (as I said in my post). What angers me is that in my son’s case, it was literally just a matter of slapping it on him, and we were sent on my way. It’s the way the system (or lack thereof) works here. You get NO help, NO support whatsoever.
Yes, there are definitely real people behind the labels. If only others could see them.
Alison recently posted..Labels Are Bullshit