Exhaustion

24 Aug By

I turn on the coffee pot and wait for the brew light to flash back at me, but it takes too long.

I hate waiting. 

I wander over to the laptop to check email, but the inbox is overwhelming, and I click away.

Coffee maker’s ready. 

The noise I try not to make begins to wake the house in spite of my efforts, and I quickly realize the shred of silence I had is already gone.

I should have gotten up earlier. 

The kids begin to stir and the day is already moving faster than I am able to go.

Mooooom? I have to pee. 

And so it begins.

As I make my way to the back bedroom, I wonder how I can be tired when I just woke up.

I remind myself that I was ready to start school.

It’s just an adjustment period.

In some ways I’m thrilled to get back to school. We need routine. The kids were becoming restless, and the days of summer were beginning to drag from one day to the next in a sea of video games and stifling humidity.

I take a deep breathe.

I’m not sure if I’m sighing from relief that summer is over or anxiety over fall beginning.

I take a sip of breakfast blend (caramel creamer, no sugar). 

It soothes me.

I feel the weight of time aging me. I feel, well…old.

I need to eat healthier.

Exercise more.

Yell less.

The list of things I fear I will never accomplish grows long, and my chest begins to feel heavy.

The needs of both of my boys race through my mind in separate categories I can’t sort through.

Another deep breathe. 

I try to snap out of it because I am the glue that holds it all together.

It is only 7:00am.

*************************

Well, our first week back-to-school pretty much wore me out! Here’s to next week! What has your house looked like while you try to get back into the groove? Do you tend to ease into the transition or do you find yourself dragging on day 4 like me?

The Mommy Mess

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Adrienne

Somewhere along the way I picked up homeschooling two boys and blogging. When I'm not scrubbing toilets or answering endless questions, I'm usually here, over sharing it all! My writing is always honest, sometimes sarcastic, and never perfect. I hope to keep my kids from seeking adult therapy. I know. Pipe dreams...You can find me as @TheMommyMess on Twitter and on Facebook.

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Filed Under: homeschool, motherhood

18 Comments

Comments

  1. Alison
    Twitter:
    says:
    August 24, 2012 at 2:26 am

    I think it’s just a matter of adjustment. Hey, even moms have summer hangovers/ fall trepidation :)
    Alison recently posted..Best Photo Bomb Ever By A ToddlerMy Profile

    Reply
  2. Kimberly
    Twitter:
    says:
    August 24, 2012 at 3:28 am

    We go back to school in two weeks and I don’t know how I feel about that. I need the routine again, but I’m sad to see summer go.
    Kimberly recently posted..Essence Of NowMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Karen says:
    August 24, 2012 at 11:52 am

    To be honest, I’m not feeling the back-to-school crunch at home. I leave the house for my job (teaching) well before my daughters have to be up for school. I teach an hour away from home, so the part I’m having a hard time adjusting to is not seeing my girls until 6 pm. I still don’t get enough quiet time in the morning, though. I can’t seem to wake up early enough for that.

    Reply
  4. Kristen says:
    August 25, 2012 at 11:13 am

    We start on Monday and I am a stressed out mess and I don’t actually teach my girls like you do your boys! I know my girls can’t wait but I am the one who needs to stay on top of it all and lately I feel like my plate is already overflowing.
    Kristen recently posted..Random Act of KindnessMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Mama Pants
    Twitter:
    says:
    August 25, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    This is our first year! Sending the little guy to preschool next week and we are trying to adujust are sleep schedule so we are ready! Here we go!

    Love how you write. It draws a person in. Great post :)

    Stopping by from SITS!
    Mama Pants recently posted..My Big Little KidMy Profile

    Reply
  6. misssrobin says:
    August 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    You captured it beautifully! It’s so tough to always be the glue that holds things together.

    My school year is going great so far. My kids are older, 14-21, so they require a lot less physical labor. Lots of emotional upheaval and lots of money, but they can do so many things on their own. That helps. And so far they are enjoying it. They seem to like their classes and teachers. Fingers crossed it stays that way.

    Happy Sharefest! I hope you get some rest this weekend.
    misssrobin recently posted..I Can StrengthenMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Melissa
    Twitter:
    says:
    August 26, 2012 at 5:54 am

    Homeschool moms deserve some kind of trophy or tiara or sash or something. I admire your dedication. Being the glue is a difficult – and often thankless – job. Your weary words are beautiful.
    Melissa recently posted..Strippers, Maxim and porn – you suck. {Part 1}My Profile

    Reply
  8. Katie E says:
    August 26, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    My kids start back tomorrow, but I’m already tired from all the week-before-school-starts activities! It’s going to be quite an adjustment for all of us tomorrow!

    Visiting from SITS.
    Katie E recently posted..After BedtimeMy Profile

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The one with the treadmill. says:
    August 26, 2012 at 2:30 am

    [...] I’m pretty tired after a long week, and I’m even more tired of asking people to do things, only to be met with complaints and whining.  Loading everyone up in the car and heading out to the park in the rain- did I mention it was raining? to hang out with a large group of people I don’t know is not something I feel like doing today. [...]

    Reply

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