Have you ever been angry with one of your children, but then taken your frustrations out on another?
One child’s actions or words have gotten you so tangled up you are just plain angry!
You are completely unable to reason with him and no amount of arguing or lecturing will get through to him. In this moment you feel like your head is going to explode and you have lost all control of any parenting devices.
Then, it gets worse.
You end up yelling.
You feel so helpless that your words become louder. The volume of your own voice is all you can control. Except you don’t.
Eventually, what started out as a disagreement between you and your teen has become something else.
A bad mood.
A sharp tongue.
And everyone pays the price.
The worst thing of all is that the wrong child will take the heat.
You yell at the one who is just trying to distract you.
The only way he can get your attention is by asking questions at the worst possible time.
So you snap!
You snap at him.
You scare him.
All of the anger that was boiling just overflowed and burned an innocent bystander.
It breaks his heart because he didn’t do anything wrong.
It breaks yours because you can’t turn back time.
Latest posts by Adrienne (see all)
- 25 Things I Love About Homeschool - May 21, 2013
- #GoingGreen Link Up-Recycle Old Posts! - May 19, 2013
- The Ugliest Smoothie - May 16, 2013
- Mother’s Day Round Up: Link Your Posts! - May 13, 2013
- Mommy Worries: Then and Now - May 6, 2013
I have so been there, and it is the worst feeling afterwards. I try to think it teaches our kids that we’re human too. After I beat myself up first of ourselves!! Xo
Ashley recently posted..The guilty days of motherhood
This hasn’t happened to me yet though I know it will.
I have however, been on the receiving end when I was a kid. I forgave me mom. Eventually.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Friends
Twitter: doc_megz_to_be
says:
This happened in our home too. I was often the teenager that got snapped at unnecessarily, and oftentimes I was the cause of the friction.
It feels terrible to you, I know – but it will be okay. I’m okay, and I still love my parents.
BarefootMedStudent recently posted..Medicine, Bureaucracy, Press Freedom*
Oh yes all the time. And now my oldest is older she calls me on it. “You are yelling just because you are frustrated with so and so” which sometimes stops me in my tracks.
Keen observers these children of mine.
Totally feel you on this- even though there isn’t a teen in my house yet (but my 7 year old can certainly channel a 14 year old when she wants to).
A friend loaned me a book called “How To Pray After You Kicked The Dog.” I haven’t read it yet but the title brings me comfort in knowing that this is something common enough in our life experiences that you can take a book title and make it understandable and relatable.
Eternal Lizdom recently posted..To the Survivors of Sandusky
I have so been there. And I always feel awful about it. I understand how you feel exactly, Adrienne.
Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Old Fashioned Summer – Michelle and Lemonade
One of the best lessons I ever learned from my mom was to apologize after making that mistake. She was always willing to be honest with us about needing to apologize. You’re kids know you love them even when they’re not sure what just happened!
Awn recently posted..I’m a Gossip and a Critic
Twitter: fiercedivablog
says:
This is so beautifully articulated – one of the reasons I adore your blog. Plus, so true. I wind up taking my frustrations out on one of my other kids, simply because they have asked me a question at the wrong time. A great reminder for me to be more mindful.
ilene recently posted..Mom Fail in 13 Days
Twitter: ateachablemom
says:
Yes, yes, yes – I do this! And then the “shit rolls downhill,” as my kids take my misplaced frustration and misplace it on each other. A lovely cycle. Ugh. Thanks for the great reminder. Beautifully done!
Mary Nelligan recently posted..To Me, Gentle Parenting Means …
I’ve so been there! I get so stressed, I’ll snap at whoever is in my path, even though it’s not their fault.
I apologize and love on them and hope they they forgive me.
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: The Power of Touch
I think most of us are guilty of this. It is so hard to keep our cool 24/7. Sometimes it has to come out but it seems like most of the time when it does it spreads quicly and violently to others. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your boys know how much you love them. Just give them one of your hugs and tell them you love them and you are sorry and you will be the only one who remembers those moments that go downhill quickly. xo
Kristen recently posted..Are Smiles Contagious?
I, for one, have NEVER had that happen. More than 3 or 4 times a day.
I think we all just have to be very good about apologizing and acknowledging our mistakes – because we’re all gonna make them. Big hugs!!
jenn @ so this is love recently posted..Echoes
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Yes, I do a lot of apologizing. Thankfully, my kids offer me grace when I mess up.
What about when it isn’t even the wrong kid, but about being mad or frustrated with something completely out of their focus? That happens to me a lot, and I feel horrible afterward. The only thing you can do is apologize… and buy them lots of treats.
Jennifer recently posted..Transferring
I cried because I do this all the time. Even losing it on the ‘right kid’ feels wrong. Once I calm down.
Angela recently posted..Bright and Early Wednesday Morning: via Twitter
Been there done that. It’s such a terrible feeling. I’m sure you son understands that you didn’t mean it.
Erin recently posted..Love/Hate Link Up
Oh, my friend…I could have written this. I do it ALL the time and what is worse is that I KNOW I’m doing it and I still do it! I try to make a point of apologizing but I hate that the words are already out there.
AnnMarie recently posted..Wisconsin Dells
That is one of the worst feelings in the world. I hate it when I know I am being cranky but just can’t stop. It usually has to do with the children and noise level, and it IS always the one who is just trying to cheer me up that takes the heat. Ug!
Karen recently posted..Monday’s Music Moves Me- June 25
I sure wish I could say I’ve never been there, never felt that, but I have. It’s awful and I always feel horrible afterwards. I try to make it a point to apologize and to explain where I’m coming from and then I remind myself that I wouldn’t want my kids to treat me that way…
Lacey recently posted..Mommy Stress
As the Mom of four grown children (plus a few others – been a guardian and mom to exchange students) I have been there. The only thing you can do in apologize, ask for forgiveness. And cry. Crying always helped me to just release all that anger and tension and then repent to the Lord. Even today I get that way at times… Not nearly as often but even grown kids can infuriate at times. Oh Lord, help my humanity…! Have a great day!
Ms. Kathleen recently posted..Contentment: Praising God in the storm
Oh I have so been there! I feel awful afterwards, but kids forgive quickly and easily. Thank goodness!
Twitter: themommytherapy
says:
Oh how I wish I could say that I’ve never done this, but unfortunately do it very often. My oldest takes the brunt of my frustration with the younger two. I do make a point to apolgize, which I hope counts for something…and I continue to try to not do it. Like Kimberly above, kids do forgive quickly and easily.
The Mommy Therapy recently posted..Perspective
I’ve yelled at the wrong kid, or because they just came up to me at the wrong time..sigh…but I always apologize…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..Better Sexytime?
Oh that is so hard. And I do it all the time too. But everyone is right – children forgive. And we are only human.
Tricia recently posted..Weekly Gratitude #30
Happens here a lot more often than I’d like!
Sorta Southern Single Mom recently posted..Friday Fragments: Debby Does Florida
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. My children are young, and it still happens out of frustration.
Leigh Powell Hines @Hinessightblog recently posted..I’m Declaring my "Sweet Independence" and am Eating Chocolate Guilt-Free
Twitter: themommymess
says:
I’m going to work on this. I feel like both of my kids “pay the price’ for my frustrations regarding the other child all the time. It’s not fair to them. Thanks for your comment! It’s so nice to know I’m know I’m not alone.