Self doubt whispers…

20 Jun By

It was hard for me to begin telling you that I want to be a writer.

I’m slowly admitting to myself and the rest of the blogging world that I do actually want to do this thing. I’m starting to speak the words out loud to my husband and kids, and they believe in me, but there’s a cloud of self doubt that hovers over me.

When I mention pursuing writing to anyone, there’s always a tone of sarcasm in my voice. I guess I feel protected that way. The padding of my own self doubt will cushion the blow if anyone else thinks the idea is crazy. In a way, I set myself up to not be taken seriously.

I go through the motions.

I search online for writing opportunities, and try to grow my blog community with the leftovers of time I have. But, mostly I do a lot of thinking about pursuing this dream.

There’s a part of me that doesn’t jump in full force. I can feel myself being held back by me.

I want to submit my work.

My insecurity craves recognition.

But, my work will stay hidden in my drafts folder unless I put myself out there. Putting myself out there means rejection. It means I need to wear my big girl pants, and know that every opportunity is not for me. It means that  people will say “no”. Some people will hate my writing, but maybe, just maybe someone will like it. Maybe someone will even love it?

You have built me up and given me a dose of confidence.

You have helped me believe I could actually do this.

Your kind words about my writing in the comments you leave here have lifted me up, and I am grateful.

Thank you!

I want to listen to you and not her…

She nags and belittles me.

She tells me I’m crazy for wanting to write.

Who do you think you are?

You cannot compete with other writers. 

You’re writing isn’t good enough.

Don’t embarrass yourself.

Give it up. 

She’s getting quieter, though.

I’m beginning to believe in me a little more.

Pass me that duck tape so I can really shut her up!

 

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Adrienne

Somewhere along the way I picked up homeschooling two boys and blogging. When I'm not scrubbing toilets or answering endless questions, I'm usually here, over sharing it all! My writing is always honest, sometimes sarcastic, and never perfect. I hope to keep my kids from seeking adult therapy. I know. Pipe dreams...You can find me as @TheMommyMess on Twitter and on Facebook.

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31 Comments

Comments

  1. Alison@Mama Wants This says:
    June 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Yes, you can absolutely do it!
    Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. Kick that bitch inner voice to the kerb!
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Love Multiplied – But I’m DividedMy Profile

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  2. Deanna says:
    June 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm

    I’ve been going t through a very similar thing myself. Thank you for sharing- you are an excellent writer!
    Deanna recently posted..It’s Just Too MuchMy Profile

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  3. Bonnie says:
    June 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    Go for it girl!
    Bonnie recently posted..Make Up Monday – Mary Kay BlushMy Profile

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  4. Awn says:
    June 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    I love this post. It’s so hard to silence our inner critic…so hard. Keep at it!!!
    Awn recently posted..Bruised Hearts, Confused MindsMy Profile

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  5. Kristen says:
    June 20, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I have two girls that love to make crafts with duct tape. I’ll ship you some! Let your heart do the writing and it will be as beautiful as you are!
    Kristen recently posted..The Last Resort in Lake AnnaMy Profile

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  6. AnnMarie says:
    June 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Once again, I could have written this post. I struggle so much with this very thing. So many in the drafts folder…each time I want to press send…that voice…

    You are a wonderfully talented writer! I would read anything you write and I know I am not alone in that.
    AnnMarie recently posted..Looking Forward to Upcoming ChaosMy Profile

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  7. Denise says:
    June 20, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    I know how that self doubt feels. Listen to us. You CAN do it!
    Denise recently posted..Two Year Blogaversary and My First Ever Giveaway!My Profile

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  8. Ilene
    Twitter:
    says:
    June 20, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    You wouldn’t be a writer if you didn’t have that little voice of self doubt. Your job is to ignore it!
    BTW, you’re awesome and you can do it!
    Ilene recently posted..Raising Hot SauceMy Profile

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  9. Kristin @ What She Said says:
    June 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    I resemble this post. A lot.
    Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..The Demise of CaillouMy Profile

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  10. Erin says:
    June 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    *Here’s the tape for ya girly!!!*
    You can write and you do a great job with it! I love reading your blog, which is why I return :)
    Erin recently posted..Memories Captured Link Up : This I Promise YouMy Profile

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  11. Mary Nelligan
    Twitter:
    says:
    June 20, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    I hear ya, sister! I have that same voice (am thinking a group discount is in order since the voice visits so many of us!). Today I’m going to believe that there is enough for all of us! I hope you go for it cause you’ll inspire me! Yay, you!
    Mary Nelligan recently posted..Joy In Parenting: Daddy StyleMy Profile

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  12. Shell says:
    June 20, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    You need that duct tape!

    Believe in yourself, girl.
    Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Active Kids Aren’t Bad KidsMy Profile

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  13. Andrea says:
    June 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Good for you! Don’t let that nagging voice push down your true voice. I think many of us hear those same harsh words, but we all have it in us to do what we want! Yay, you! Good luck! :)
    Andrea recently posted..Trying to breatheMy Profile

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  14. Julia says:
    June 21, 2012 at 2:01 am

    Good for you for putting yourself out there. I can really relate to this post, all my life I’ve wanted to be a writer and I’m always holding myself back. Best of luck!
    Julia recently posted..5 am Wake Up CallMy Profile

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  15. Tricia says:
    June 25, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    I can completely relate. But I promise you, we are both good enough. We can do this. And here, you’ve taken the first step!
    Tricia recently posted..The things we doMy Profile

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  16. Jennifer says:
    June 26, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    “Mostly I do a lot of thinking about pursing this dream.”

    Oh yeah. I do that. I call it “planning,” but really it is making excuses for not doing the work required to be where I want to be.
    Jennifer recently posted..Having it allMy Profile

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