If I bought a dog…

7 May By

Hello, Monday.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for this week yet.  I’m pretty sure I’m still not thinking clearly.

I know this because I’ve been wishing for puppy all weekend. All weekend. My husband says I should just spend more time with the kids and cuddle with them. I don’t know? It’s not the same thing. 

I’ve literally been dreamy with the idea that a sweet and cuddly puppy is just what I need. I’m positive it’s the missing puzzle piece in my life. I will snuggle the puppy and teach it tricks and put clothes on it and stuff. In the good part of my brain, I know this a very bad a idea.

For one, I usually make fun of people that put clothes on their dogs, so I do not know why I have a desire to this.

Another reason I know this is a dumb idea is because I hate dogs. They’re gross and smell. They poop and pee all over your house and when you take them for a walk outside to poop, you have to pick it up. The poop, I mean.

I see the dog people around the neighborhood in the morning and they’re happy. I’ll give you that, but they are usually carrying a recycled grocery bag full of doggie doo. I’m not sure if this disproves my case that a dog will bring me happiness, or confirms it? I mean, if you can be happy picking up crap after your dog, then maybe there’s something about owning the dog that makes it all worth it?

And the number one reason I know this fantasy of mine is a stupid idea is because both of my kids are allergic to dogs.  But, then again, as I type that, maybe that is another pro? Get dog. Get rid of kids. Hmmm…I have some serious thinking to do.

If I was a dog owner, not only would I buy clothes for the dog, but I would get one of *these.

This is for real ya'll.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve seen these around the neighborhood. It’s a doggie stroller.

I felt like I had to tell you that, because when I saw one for the first time I was all, “What the heck is that?”, and then I realized. It’s a doggie stroller. This gives new meaning to the phrase “walk the dog”, but the owner seems pretty happy about it. I’m not sure, but I think she’s thinking “My life is so wonderful that I have a dog who deserves a $150 stroller, and I’m thrilled I will pick up his poop soon.”

But, if I had a dog I would totally get one. Because I’m all or nothing. If I actually bought a dog, I’m pretty sure I would have already lost my mind and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from dressing it up, pushing it in a stroller, and picking up it’s poop.

Pray for me, ya’ll.

*If you like this stroller you can buy one here. Image credit. 

 

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Adrienne

Somewhere along the way I picked up homeschooling two boys and blogging. When I'm not scrubbing toilets or answering endless questions, I'm usually here, over sharing it all! My writing is always honest, sometimes sarcastic, and never perfect. I hope to keep my kids from seeking adult therapy. I know. Pipe dreams...You can find me as @TheMommyMess on Twitter and on Facebook.

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40 Comments

Comments

  1. Anna says:
    May 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    I have 2 very naughty dogs who love to poop and pee in the house but not when you are walking them so your Publix bag would be empty in the morning! I have some clothes that fit them too. Sadly, I didn’t buy them, they came with the one dog. I don’t have the doggy stroller, but may have an old baby one! Send me your address and I will FedEx them to you. :)

    Reply
  2. Alison@Mama Wants This says:
    May 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    Don’t. Get. A. Dog.

    Go buy some wine instead.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..10 Things, 1 HourMy Profile

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  3. Karen says:
    May 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    I would suggest fostering for a rescue group because that gives you a dog temporarily, but with the kids allergic that might not be the best idea. How about a guniea pig? I hear they make some cute clothes for those rodents. ;-) Have a great week!
    Karen recently posted..Musing Mondays- April 30My Profile

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  4. Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom
    Twitter:
    says:
    May 7, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    If the kids are allergic to dogs, are there any animals they aren’t allergic to? I don’t know how that pet dander allergy thing works. We love our awesome cat and my friends swear by their guinea pigs. The lady at the pet store swears that rats (I’m not kidding) are awesome pets–very smart and friendly.
    Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted..Everyday I Hate Mathematics MoreMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Jeremy says:
    May 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they’re going to think dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge? – Jerry Seinfeld
    Jeremy recently posted..Bookmark this postMy Profile

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  6. AnnMarie says:
    May 7, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    I’m with Alison on this one. If you have wine, the only thing you have to clean up after is yourself. :) That doggie stroller is nice than the one I have for my daughter. I laughed out loud when I saw it and agree with you that I am also all or nothing so I’d probably have it if I had a dog, too.
    AnnMarie recently posted..You’re My FavoriteMy Profile

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  7. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says:
    May 7, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    Maybe they’re smiling because they’ve literally gone insane. You mustn’t cross the line, A. You just mustn’t. ;)
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..My Ziplining Adventure at Florida EcoSafarisMy Profile

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  8. Erin says:
    May 7, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Having a puppy is like having another kid, only you don’t have to pay childcare fees and you can put the puppy in a cage.
    Erin recently posted..You’re on my mindMy Profile

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  9. robin says:
    May 7, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    this is sooooo funny. I (and my husband) went through a spell of wanting a dog. Really bad. So, we got one. I actually was gonna write about our life since we got her, but right now it sounds like I wish I had gotten a dog instead of a husband….LOL…. She’s a pain in the butt, but she’s a good puppy. And she makes us laugh. She is good about doing her business outside, but still….it’s like having another kid. And counting my husband, I truly have enough of those. (kids, I mean) There are toys everywhere. Gates up everwhere to keep her contained. We seem to take her outside every 5 minutes. That’s probably why there have been no accidents, now that I think about it…. Anyway….it’s a commitment. Good luck on making your decision.
    robin recently posted..Spending a day with the FatboyMy Profile

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  10. Julie says:
    May 8, 2012 at 1:30 am

    I’m in agreement, I think a puppy would be fun but its not fair to the dog for it to be raised in a condo with no yard to play in. So that’s on my bucket list one day.
    Julie recently posted..Newest nieceMy Profile

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  11. Natalie @MamaTrack says:
    May 8, 2012 at 2:17 am

    Awesome. I actually have two dogs. But no stroller. Maybe that’s my problem.
    Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..The Parenting MirrorMy Profile

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  12. The Mommy Therapy
    Twitter:
    says:
    May 8, 2012 at 2:19 am

    I was totally going to comment that you had to get a dog, because I believe dogs are amazing and my life is empty without one….but you said you don’t like them. What the what?

    If you get a dog, don’t get a puppy. Puppies are like having a baby…you think they look like a good idea because they are so cute from a far and adorable and silly in brief moments of time, but then they live with you and they wake you up at night and force you to deal with their bowels more often than your own and they basically jack everything up.

    How about an adorable fish?

    Keep us posted.
    The Mommy Therapy recently posted..So Yeah, We Were Kicked Off 34th StreetMy Profile

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  13. Jayme says:
    May 8, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Putting in another vote for the wine. :) My big girl asked me once if we could get a dog. I had to remind her that we’ve already had two hamsters and two fighting fishes die on us. Maybe when they’re much older. :)
    Jayme recently posted..How to be patient in 10 secondsMy Profile

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  14. Ferly
    Twitter:
    says:
    May 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    I haven’t taken the doggy plunge either and don’t think I will until my son is old enough to help care for one. I can’t get things done as it is without a dog. Found you through SITS Girls Spring Fling. Looking forward to getting to know you and your blog.

    ~ Ferly
    Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}
    Ferly recently posted..Birthday Post: 31 Gifts I’m Thankful ForMy Profile

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  15. Carolyn says:
    May 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Weird, all weekend we talked about getting a dog. I think I’ll wait until the girls are a little older – so they can help. Right?
    Carolyn recently posted..Motherhood Can Be LonelyMy Profile

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  16. Jack@TheJackB says:
    May 8, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    Damn, I am coming back as a dog. They have a better life than we do.
    Jack@TheJackB recently posted..A Letter To My Children-2012My Profile

    Reply
  17. Amber @ Backwards Life says:
    May 8, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    I keep reminding myself that I don’t want another pet. This helped with that :-) I have a cat. She’s hard enough to deal with….and she “goes” outside so there’s not even a littler box. I love dogs but our yard isn’t fenced so it’ ALWAYS have to walk it. No thanks. Well maybe if I could walk it in a sweet stroller.

    I actually saw a lady walking her dog in one of those at the March of Dimes – March for Babies 5K. I just assumed it was a baby until I got in front of her and heard barking. Maybe her pup was a preemie? Weidos :P
    Amber @ Backwards Life recently posted..Forming a Sisterly Bond Through Baby Sign LanguageMy Profile

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  18. Nicole says:
    May 9, 2012 at 4:19 am

    Thanks for stopping my blog!! I have to say, the stroller is cool, however, my 175 lb Mastiff probably wouldn’t fit in one:) Stopping in from SITS:)
    Nicole recently posted..And the Thunder Rolls…..My Profile

    Reply
  19. Jerrah says:
    May 9, 2012 at 7:39 am

    This is really perfect for my dogs and i guess I should give this a try as well.. I hope they will love it.. Thanks for the idea..
    Jerrah recently posted..Sharepoint HostingMy Profile

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