I received an email from Katie a few weeks ago requesting to write a guest post for my blog. You will meet her tomorrow, so please please come back and show her how awesome this blog community is!
Her email request was timed perfectly with the How to Rock Your Blog challenge I had been given by Shell and Ashley. Damn them! They gave us homework, and told us to set some goals for our blogs. One being that we were to reach out to other bloggers in our niche and ask to guest post for them.
Doesn’t sound so bad, right? I see people all over hopping around guest posting.
I am terrified to do this, and still have not met that goal. Seriously, my palms sweat right now just thinking about it. It’s a problem. Hang on I need to wipe my palms on my yoga pants.
I guess I’m just absolutely terrified that the people I ask will throw their heads back with a sinister laugh, and send emails to other successful bloggers that run in their circles about how I am crazy for thinking that she would EVER let me write for her blog. Then the other woman would hit forward and share this ridiculous story of a wannabe blogger who has poor grammar with her contact list, and then before you know it, I’ll be the laughing stock of the blogopshere.
But, you’ll know. I won’t. It will be one of those hush-here-she-comes things. But, I don’t know how that looks online. But, it would be apparent that I had touched the stinky cheese. I would have the blog “cheese touch.”
I think this is a good time to tell you, yes. I am still taking medication for this sort of behavior. It’s a valid question. I mean, this is pretty ridiculous.
So yes, Zoloft and I continue our love for each other. I take it everyday. Yippee! However, I think it’s fairly certain that it’s not going to cure me. It certainly helps my anxiety, but clearly not enough.
I realize this fear is a form of anxiety, and it would probably never happen because the only people I know and love in this bloggy world of goodness would never do that to me. I know that. But my brain does not. I’m just telling you that’s the horrific vision I get each time I even consider reaching out to someone and asking to guest post for them.
It’s not cool.
Me asking them if I can write in their space, is a twisted way of inviting your self to a party, or someone’s house. After you invite yourself over and they awkwardly accept because they feel sorry for you and they don’t know what else to say, you’re invited. Then when you get there? You nervously start eating all their food because you don’t know what else to do. That’s what a guest post feels like to me.
Is it normal? I’m most certain it’s not.
It’s actually on my list of reasons I may need to seek therapy. This week.
Now, I have written posts for special bloggers in the past. Women that I admire as mothers, and wives, and bloggers. And I enjoyed going over to their place. But, the difference was, they invited me. That invitation wiped any insecurity away. For whatever reason, they like what I write and they want to share it. I was flattered and squealed with delight each time.
But, I cannot muster up the courage to ask to write for someone else.
So, when Katie sent me this email asking me something I’m terrified to ask others.
I was really jealous. I’m pretty sure she was sent from God to mock me for my lack of faith and horrendous imagination.
I thought to myself, “Hey Adrienne, she’s pretty damn brave!” I like that. So I don’t know much about Katie. All I know is she beautiful, sweet, and confident, and oh yeah, divinely sent from God to mock me. She has passion for staying healthy, and I can’t wait for you all to come and meet her tomorrow.
And I’m super jealous of her And she’s given me the courage to reach out to other bloggers.
No, she hasn’t.
Because I have Guest post nightmares.
***Disclaimer: This is not an attempt to get writing opportunities in any way. On Monday, I wrote a post about my insecurities about appearance, and all of you lovelies sent me the sweetest comments telling me how pretty I was. I won’t lie. I liked it. Thank you! But, you didn’t have to do that, and I certainly wasn’t hoping to be ravished in compliments. I just wanted to share my heart for how stupid we can be when it comes to our appearances. Please do not invite me to write for you based on this hideous post. Much love, A.