I received an email from Katie a few weeks ago requesting to write a guest post for my blog. You will meet her tomorrow, so please please come back and show her how awesome this blog community is!
Her email request was timed perfectly with the How to Rock Your Blog challenge I had been given by Shell and Ashley. Damn them! They gave us homework, and told us to set some goals for our blogs. One being that we were to reach out to other bloggers in our niche and ask to guest post for them.
Doesn’t sound so bad, right? I see people all over hopping around guest posting.
WRONG!
I am terrified to do this, and still have not met that goal. Seriously, my palms sweat right now just thinking about it. It’s a problem. Hang on I need to wipe my palms on my yoga pants.
I guess I’m just absolutely terrified that the people I ask will throw their heads back with a sinister laugh, and send emails to other successful bloggers that run in their circles about how I am crazy for thinking that she would EVER let me write for her blog. Then the other woman would hit forward and share this ridiculous story of a wannabe blogger who has poor grammar with her contact list, and then before you know it, I’ll be the laughing stock of the blogopshere.
But, you’ll know. I won’t. It will be one of those hush-here-she-comes things. But, I don’t know how that looks online. But, it would be apparent that I had touched the stinky cheese. I would have the blog “cheese touch.”
I think this is a good time to tell you, yes. I am still taking medication for this sort of behavior. It’s a valid question. I mean, this is pretty ridiculous.
So yes, Zoloft and I continue our love for each other. I take it everyday. Yippee! However, I think it’s fairly certain that it’s not going to cure me. It certainly helps my anxiety, but clearly not enough.
I realize this fear is a form of anxiety, and it would probably never happen because the only people I know and love in this bloggy world of goodness would never do that to me. I know that. But my brain does not. I’m just telling you that’s the horrific vision I get each time I even consider reaching out to someone and asking to guest post for them.
It’s not cool.
Me asking them if I can write in their space, is a twisted way of inviting your self to a party, or someone’s house. After you invite yourself over and they awkwardly accept because they feel sorry for you and they don’t know what else to say, you’re invited. Then when you get there? You nervously start eating all their food because you don’t know what else to do. That’s what a guest post feels like to me.
Is it normal? I’m most certain it’s not.
It’s actually on my list of reasons I may need to seek therapy. This week.
Now, I have written posts for special bloggers in the past. Women that I admire as mothers, and wives, and bloggers. And I enjoyed going over to their place. But, the difference was, they invited me. That invitation wiped any insecurity away. For whatever reason, they like what I write and they want to share it. I was flattered and squealed with delight each time.
But, I cannot muster up the courage to ask to write for someone else.
It.absolutley.terrifies.me.
So, when Katie sent me this email asking me something I’m terrified to ask others. I was really jealous. I’m pretty sure she was sent from God to mock me for my lack of faith and horrendous imagination.
I thought to myself, “Hey Adrienne, she’s pretty damn brave!” I like that. So I don’t know much about Katie. All I know is she beautiful, sweet, and confident, and oh yeah, divinely sent from God to mock me. She has passion for staying healthy, and I can’t wait for you all to come and meet her tomorrow. And I’m super jealous of her And she’s given me the courage to reach out to other bloggers.
No, she hasn’t.
Because I have Guest post nightmares.
***Disclaimer: This is not an attempt to get writing opportunities in any way. On Monday, I wrote a post about my insecurities about appearance, and all of you lovelies sent me the sweetest comments telling me how pretty I was. I won’t lie. I liked it. Thank you! But, you didn’t have to do that, and I certainly wasn’t hoping to be ravished in compliments. I just wanted to share my heart for how stupid we can be when it comes to our appearances. Please do not invite me to write for you based on this hideous post. Much love, A.
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I’m over the moon for how transparent this is, and I love that tiny steps forward that you’re taking!
That’s what it’s all about, right? One step a a time!
Galit Breen recently posted..Bringing Home A Third Baby
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thanks, girl! I’m trying to push myself past some of my fears. It’s fun, it’s awful, it’s real.
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
Oh, how I love you.
It is scary. But remember that the worst that can happen is someone will say no. And truly, that’s it- no mocking. And look for sites that have guest post opps so you’ll know they are accepting them! xo
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: What Makes a Family Complete?
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Haha. And I love you! It’s is scary. I guess I have some issues? No?
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
Twitter: experbadmom
says:
I know a site that accepts guest posts…
http://experiencedbadmom.com/guest-post/
I’m not asking. I’m just saying. Because maybe you don’t want to guest post there, anyway. And that’s cool.
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted..Take Our Daughters and Sons To Work Day 2012
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Oh I totally want to, but a couple of you didn’t read my disclaimer. But, I took someone else up on their “not offer”, sent them an email, went and threw up, and now I feel better. I didn’t really throw up, but it felt like it might have happened. So I’ll come over and check it out, as I do know already we have a ton in common AND our kids will be in therapy together later in the future, so why not?
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
Wow I don’t know if I could do it either. I would be terrified, too. A very BIG good luck to you!
christine recently posted..A Little Thanks
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thanks, Christine!
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
As I recall you write wonderful guest posts!
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Examining His Learning Choices
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Oh thanks, girl! It’s true when I said I was genuinely flattered that you invited me. I did squeel too.
Thank you for having me!
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
You are such a great writer. You write things that soapy people relate to. Do you know that I asked Shell to guest post? And she let me. I know alittlesomethingforme has had guest posters before. Only 2… I’m not asking, just letting you know that I know the lady that writes over there. She pretty much loves you. Xo
Kristen recently posted..Close to Losing It
Soapy people do really relate to you… But I meant so many. If you are going to ask that girl at ALSFM you better go quick. I heard she’s getting mad at her iPhones autocorrect.
Kristen recently posted..Close to Losing It
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Kristen, I love you!
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
I am right there with you! I can’t imagine ever asking myself to a party, someone’s house or even to write on the blog. I am pretty insecure and anxious, and Lexapro is my friend. And ugh, I was in that class too. And life got away from me and now I am dropout. I hope they can forgive me.
Anna recently posted..I worry
Twitter: themommymess
says:
I’m sure it’s not going to be the last thing you can’t finish. It’s all good! I have started tons of blog challenges, and so forth and I almost never complete a project. It’s a problem. For some reason this week, God is finding it crucial to point out the reason I am crazy and in need of therapy. I’m sure the girl understand. Like I said on twitter, life happens!
But, I did notice you changed your picture to a without sunglasses pic. That was you I told to do that right? If not just forget this last part and blame it on me being crazy.
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
Yes I did, and it was because of you! I had to look long and hard for a pic without sunglasses, I guess I wear them all the time. I need to do like you did and get a professional to take some pics. Do you think the new one is better?
I am positive I need therapy all the time! Last week after reading some post that made me feel terrible about taking anti-depressants and how they impact “love” I decided to try to stop. Not a great idea! While having PMS!
Your new pics are awesome!
Anna recently posted..I worry
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Ana, I emailed a reply to you.
The new pic is gorgeous!
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
Sometimes it feels a little like writing and blogging strips us bare leaves us naked. The trick is to imagine everyone else naked too
Enjoy you honesty so very much Adrienne…
Jen recently posted..the end…..
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Yes! Exactly. I’m so naked right now! Honestly is best.
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
Jen is right, we’re all pretty much naked. And Shell is right, the worst they can do is say no. They can’t take away your birthday.
And sure, there are snarky people with snarky behind-the-scenes conversations. Meh, but who care? We’re too busy being awesome.
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Bahahahah! You’re right, Julie. I like you! I am awesome, damn it! So far this week I have declared my beauty and awesomeness. This is a big week for me. Maybe I won’t have to dip into savings for that therapy appt. after all? Winning.
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
Oh I feel you. I feel all anxious and throw-uppy at the thought of asking to guest post on someone’s blog. And I’m unmedicated at the moment so that’s never good…..
Delilah recently posted..He Said, She Said: True Stories
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Hahaha! No, it’s not.
Adrienne recently posted..I have Guest Post Nightmares.
Twitter: Emmymom2
says:
Oh the party analogy put my stomach in knots- I am kind of doing that real thing with some bloggers IRL this weekend! Kind of invited myself to crash their party- they did say yes but yea totally afraid I an going to feel like I am in high school again.
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Aww! In that case, I’m sorry I gave this analogy!! I’m sure it will be fun. My weird anxious thoughts are never reality. The reality is you’ll be fine and the party will be fun! OR? you will find a new group of people that do not deserve to be friends with you. I think the first option is more likely. <3
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
How could anyone ever say no to you? Honestly! I love how you write!
But I can agree,iIt does take lots of courage to go and ask to guest post, I’m sure for even the best of bloggers. Your analogy of the party- makes it more scary.
Tiffany recently posted..PYHO: Opinions are like…..
Twitter: themommymess
says:
A comments mentioned that party analogy. LOL! It is scary! But, thank you. Thanks for leaving such a sweet comment about my writing. Everyone is making me feel like I can do this.
Dude, I was the same way. Then I thought, f*** it, the worst they can do is say no. And then you get over it and ask someone else.
I mean, we’re all hiding behind this screen anyway, so no judging!!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Neither Here Nor There
Twitter: themommymess
says:
It’s like ripping off a band-aid. I’m just going to have to do it.
Any one would be blessed to have you guest on their blog! Wink, Wink, Hint, Hint…I’m just saying…if you ever get any more homework assignments, I’m thrilled to be your test dummy!
Kristen recently posted..To Live My Life As It’s Meant To Be…
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Kristen, You are so sweet! Thank you for kind words and support!
Twitter: kimahall
says:
I understand completely how you feel. Invite myself in? Eeeeek. You’ll have to pull me out from under the bed before I’d do that!
However, having been there, I have decided to just get over it. I am getting ready to do go out and ask myself in. I have come to realize through talking to other bloggers that if your post is well written and relevant to their readers, and they accept guest bloggers, they would roll out the welcome mat for you.
You are adding value to their blog and readership, providing a little variety, and giving them a bit of a breather by providing a great post.
Your writing is good and you definitely have a story to share. Go for it!
Kim recently posted..4 Insights for moms from Lucille Ball and The Chocolate Factory
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thank you, Kim! I’m with you. We’re just going to have to go for it!! Keep me posted!
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
Not in any way a hideous post!
I love your honesty. And it’s always nice to hear about another girlfriend whose anxiety skyrockets sometimes, makes me feel like I’m not alone!
Brandy recently posted..It’s Not Okay
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thank you, Brandy!! Yes, anxiety sucks. It’s always nice to know you’re not the only crazy person out there. <3 Of course, I do not know you well enough to jokingly call you crazy, but hopefully you laugh. See? It's my anxiety that says, "Hey, dummy. maybe you shouldn't call new readers crazy. They might not ever come back.", but then I think well, I have to stay real. So I'm moving on now. XXOO
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
This was so honest and true. I don’ t have the courage either … yet. I hope someday soon!
Carolyn recently posted..How Far Do I Push?
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Oh, wow! Thank you! All of the comments are making me day. You can do it! I can do it! I told someone earlier it’s like ripping off a band-aid. We just have to go for it!
Adrienne recently posted..GUEST POST: The Healthy, Easy and Cheap Way to Lose Baby Weight!
I never knew I needed such a thick skin for blogging! We think we are going to put an awesome post out there, that we are really proud of, and people are going to race to their computers to read it…not always. Some days I am so completely confident in my decision to do this, and other days are harder, though I realize sometimes associated with PMS. I think your feelings toward guest posting are really common for new bloggers. I can totally relate!
Ali from Daughter-in-Law Diaries recently posted..Help! She wants to stay for a month (or longer)!
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thanks, Ali. We definitely have to put ourselves out there and be ok with hearing crickets sometimes.
I Love this! I’m trying to grow some balls ans ask some ppl to guest post for me but feel awkward and socially indept..like inviting the cool kids to a bday party. What if they say no?
Robbie recently posted..Taking a Step Back
Twitter: themommymess
says:
I know! It’s enough to drive me crazy!
Ummm…funny you should mention being terrified of guest posting. I could have written this. See, someone that I respect immensely as a writer asked me to on her blog and I would be flattered beyond belief if she ever wanted to guest on mine. I’ve been afraid to ask because I didn’t want her to think I was just asking because she asked me
(I did read the disclaimer but still had to say…)
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Ann Marie! I would be honored! (BTW-no one listened to my disclaimer!)
Your compliment really means so much! Thank you!
You took the words right out of my mouth! I have this special post that was on my heart and came rambling out that I saved as a draft earlier this week. I honestly don’t really know what to do with it. I know it’s meant to go somewhere, I just don’t know where yet! Praying that God sends me to the path of the person I’m supposed to talk to…and I feel completely vulnerable about it! Hope you find the right connection soon, too!
http://www.normalchaosforamultitaskmom.com
Twitter: themommymess
says:
I hope you find the right place for it too! I’m looking forward to reading it.