If I have to go one more day of trying to figure out how to get my son to eat, you all might just find me posting from the crazy house.
My youngest is a very picky eater. I’m not just talking about an I-don’t-like-broccoli-kind-of-kid.
I’m talking about an I-don’t-eat-anything-but-ramen-noodles-kind-of-kid.
I’m surrounded by organic moms. Women all around me have committed to making healthy meals for their family.
Yet, here I am just wishing I could get my kid to drink a glass of milk. I feel like a failure.
This issue is tough for me to talk about. Mostly because so much of the problem lies within my own parenting. Many parents make their children clear their plates, don’t buy sweets, and demand they at least try their vegetables. Unfortunately, we never made the kids clear their plates. My oldest was very picky when he was younger, but now he eats anything. We always thought that making a child sit until their food was gone was too harsh. I still think that, but I wish we could have found a happy medium between that and what we did, which was allow too many choices.
But, now I’m in tears because I don’t know how to fix this. The problem seems bigger than just being picky. It seems too big for me, and I’m frustrated.
My son has never eaten a piece of meat. Ever.
I don’t know why. He’s some kind of natural born vegetarian. He’s 7, ya’ll. I’m talking not even one chicken nugget. I’m fine with the no meat thing. I just wish I could get him to try fruits and vegetables. Just try one freakin’ strawberry!
He doesn’t like the things most kids eat.
Pizza.
Hot dogs.
Chicken nuggets.
Mac-n-cheese.
He had never even tried ice cream until Monday.
No joke, ya’ll. This is his very first ice cream cone.
Now, he’s no fool. He likes cake, cookies, and Pringles. But, even those unhealthy choices are super picky.
The strange variety of things he will eat leaves me little wiggle room for the likes of Jessica Seinfeld. He has a sick sense of smell and a mega gag reflex. I’ve tried to make healthy cakes and brownies made from spinach and wheat germ, but that crap doesn’t work here.
I’ve tried smoothies, pureed foods, and even baby food.
His diet consists of starches and I know it’s packed with sodium. I’m desperate to change this, but I have no idea how.
He lives on spaghetti, ramen noodles, and Fruity Pebbles. On good days, he’ll eat yogurt and oatmeal, and I will be all excited on the inside about it. He drinks water, low sugar Capri Suns, and low sugar Gatorade.
He hasn’t had milk since we took his sippy cup away two years ago. Yes, he drank a sippy until he was 5. It was the only way I could keep him drinking milk. But, once it was totally awkward to have a giant kid with a bottle, we had to take it away.
I’m sure you’re thinking that I should just starve him until he eats some blueberries or green beans.
Well, what do you do if he won’t eat? How long do I let him go?
I’ve read that I should encourage him to cook with me and teach him about food. Done.
The kid loves to cook. He makes meatloaf. All.by.himself.
I have a food group chart on the fridge, so he can see he’s only getting one group.
My little chef
He’s curious about food. When he smells me cooking he comes running!
“What’s for dinner, mom?”, he’ll say as if he has every intention of eating it. Then we all sit down. He smells the food, gags, and then he whispers, ”I just can’t, mom. I’m sorry.” He’ll put his head down, and I see he feels just as defeated as I do.
I get the ramen noodles, because I don’t want him to go to bed hungry.
He never wants to miss an opportunity to cook or bake with me, and get this?! He wants to be a chef when he grows up.
I’ve read I should introdcue him to foods and at least serve him small portions of healthy foods. Done.
I’ve read I should take him to the doctor for some shock value. Done.
I’ve had blood tests done to check his health, food allergies, and cholesterol.
I feel like I’ve tried everything except starvation.
Leaving the house is hard. I can’t just pack a PB&J and call it a day. I usually end up packing a bowl of Fruity Pebbles to hold him over until I get him home to make him one of the 5 things he will eat.
I’m tired. I’m out of ideas.
I feel like no one else anywhere has this sort of picky kid.
Help.
#sendwine, because it’s almost dinnertime.
Thanks for letting me Pour My Heart Out, Shell.
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He will get past it. My oldest daughter, Ash, is horrible too! She adds a few things to her diet here and there but we’ve always had to make that something “extra” for her at every meal. She still has a high gag reflex and certain smells and textures just do her in but our pediatrician said she is healthy, active, growing well and besides for the sass she sends my way…a pretty happy child. Don’t stress too much. Ice cream is in the dairy food group.
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Oh, yeah! Ice cream is dairy! TRUE. HAHA! Thanks for the encouragement. It’s so appreciated!
Adrienne recently posted..How can I get my child to eat healthy?
I feel your pain and am a bit relieved to see someone have the same problems as me; although I will admit mine aren’t that picky. But my daughter will be 10 next week and still drinks her morning milk from a sippy cut, will only eat chicken nuggets, would starve rather than eat any sort of vegetable and could live her entire life on junk food. I worry because it is starting to catch up with her and she is gaining a bit of weight. I hope it’s true that they grow out of it!
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Ok, Anna! I’m loving the morning milk. You’re making me feel SO much better. I tried to give him that damn cup back so he will drink milk and he doesn’t want it now. I seriously wish I had never taken it away. How sick is that?! the sad thing is he was TRAUMATIZED when I took it away. It wasn’t my most graceful mama moment that’s for sure. Now I still wish he had it. UGH!
Adrienne recently posted..How can I get my child to eat healthy?
I forgot to mention that to get her to drink the milk and have any sort of “breakfast” I put chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast in her milk. It kills a few birds with one stone. I ran out this morning. It wasn’t pretty!
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Oh girl- you need wine!
My middle is my picky one and I have stopped fighting him- though he does love fruit, so that helps a little. Have you tried those “got milk” straws that gives flavor to the milk as they drink? We get them from Target.
Did the doctor have any suggestions for you?
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Those straws sound cool. I will have to check them out. I did get wine! Then I hid in my room for the night, and my husband took over. I think he saw I’m at a breaking point. Last week you hated being a girl. This week, I do.
Adrienne recently posted..How can I get my child to eat healthy?
You and I have so many similar issues, Adrienne. I have written about this before, but haven’t been as open about it as you have. And most people give me the standard responses – “it’ll get better!” Stuff. And I appreciate that, I really do. But this is way deeper and more than “just” picky eating – in my house at least. Like you, it has a lot to do with how I’ve parented and the things I let go when they were young because of some other sensitivities they had. And now I feel trapped and don’t know how to fix it, for lack of a better way to describe it. I will keep you posted with how it goes here. And I’m so sorry.
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Thanks again, Missy. You’re the best!
Adrienne recently posted..How can I get my child to eat healthy?
I’ve been there too with my son Matthew when he was little he wouldn’t eat anything but grilled cheese and milk. So i whisked him off to the doctor for a check up, everything was OK with his health. Ya know what the doctor told me? You can continue to feed him that it’s your choice or you can stop. If you stop, eventually he’ll get hungry and he’ll eat what you put in front of him.
Wait it out and he’ll get sick and tired of cheese sandwiches and want to branch in his food choices out or push it if it’s making you crazy, I was a bit crazy so we did both actually. I told Matthew he could only have on grilled cheese sandwich per day and I made sure he didn’t fill up on milk before meals and he started to eat a bit better.
I wonder if you gave him a choice and asked him something like, you can have one noodle soup per day, and cereal for breakfast, now what do you think we should do about dinner, what would he do? I left it up to my son to come up with some choices and he did. I hope this helps!! If not now I can say it’s most always a faze.
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WE have limited him to one ramen noodle pack per day. The doctor pretty much told me the same thing, and the whole bit about how they have to try something 20 times before they will like it. Ok, Doc. Thanks.
Dont blame yourself. It’s him. I agree, he does sound to be extremely picky. More than your average picky kid. But I assure you, it’s not your fault. Maybe for him, food is the one thing he has learned how to control. My doctors philosophy on pickiness is, give them a flinstone vitamin and hope for the best. I’ve never meet a high schooler that only ate ramen and fruity pebbles. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Keep at it and one day he might surprise you.
Btw, have you tried cooking the ramen in chicken broth instead of using the flavor packet? That’s what I do when my picky girl asks for “curly noodles.” At least that way it’s no MSG and less sodium.
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That is such a good idea!!! I will try the chicken broth for sure! He does take a multi-vitamin. I will try to relaz a bit and hope he’s not the only highschooler with Fruity Pebbles in his backpack.
We have issues with the kids and their eating habits….mainly they all 3 think this is a fast food restaurant and they can just order what they want to eat, instead of what I have cooked. I may be wrong, but I really feel like he will grow out of this. My son just goes through spells….he likes something, then he doesnt. I hope it gets easier for you…..
ON ANOTHER NOTE…check my blog…..for an award for yourself!
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Thanks for the feedback, Robin. I hope he grows out of it!
I think it’s hard not to give in to a picky eater. I offer my son all kinds of food but when he doesn’t eat it I resort back to his favorites. While I know this probably isn’t the best option I want him to eat something. I read somewhere that you should always offer a back up meal that a kid can make for themselves like pb and J or something else he may like. Good luck.
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Thanks, Julia. It is hard to not give in.
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You have my sympathy! It is hard to have a picky eater.
When my oldest brother was 6, he would only take lettuce and mustard sandwiches to school. The teacher wrote a note home to my mom demanding she send healthier lunches. After a short and snappy note to the teacher, Jeff continued with his favorite lunches. Decades later, my brother eats everything.
Another brother was very picky. To this day he is still very particular, much to the chagrin of his wife.
There is so much that could be at play here. It could be the way he’s wired now, it could be behaviorally related perhaps.
Jane Nelson, author of Positive Discipline, writes about picky eaters in the link below. I hope you find ideas that work for you, either through your readers or elsewhere!
http://blog.positivediscipline.com/search?q=picky+eater
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I’ll check out that link, Kim. Thanks!!
I completely feel for you. This is the most frustrating part of parenting. Two of my kids are great eaters and two are terrible. I thought I had a rough time because my youngest son was picky but would eat a lot of what he did like and though it was a good balance, I was going crazy making two different meals for every meal. Then the baby came and OMG, she hated breast milk and formula, she hated milk, she hates meat (unless it is a chicken nugget and that is only once in awhile), she will only eat strawberries and has never eaten a vegetable. She will eat pizza, grilled cheese and nachos. That’s it. She just got off the bottle because it was the only way I could get her to drink a cup of milk. It makes me feel like I am a failure as a mom to not be able to do this very basic thing and yet I know, logically, some kids are just picky eaters and that I can’t tie it into me succeeding or failing. I don’t care, I still feel that way. Wish I could share that wine with you.
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I know! We have big plans. Wine, Margaritas…Come on!
What about setting up some kind of a reward system? For example, create a sticker chart. Allow him to choose 1 new food that he would like to try. Keep his ‘comfort’ foods as a part of the meal. If he tries the new food he gets a sticker on the chart. Once he has 1 row or the whole chart filled he gets a reward. Let him choose what the reward is, such as, going to the park, choosing a favorite movie to watch, a treat from the dollar store, etc.
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Thanks for the kind advice, Erin. Unfortunately reward systems don’t work in this house. I honestly, do not believe in them. My inconsistency in keeping up with the charts+their manipulation=no success. I do let him watch TV or something if he wants to. He wouldn’t even eat the items he does like without the distraction.
Dude, I have the same picky kid except he’s 2 years 4 months and I’m desperately out of ideas.
He eats bread. Bread, bread, bread. All kinds, but still, it’s JUST BREAD. He drinks chocolate milk and water. He eats this particular Chinese stir fry fish dish with a little rice. EVERY SINGLE DAY because it’s the only form of protein he gets. He will eat some Greek yogurt mixed with pureed mango. That’s his fruit. THAT’S ALL. He even got sick of french fries – what kid doesn’t like french fries??
Oh yea, he likes chocolate.
I’m screwed right?
And I’m sorry your little guy is so picky – I hope you find an answer, because I certainly don’t.
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Oh, no way, Allison! My son eats sticky rice with garlic sauce, and I didn’t even mention that. We get take out white rice three times a week! So ridiculous! LOL!! what kid like sticky rice with garlic sauce?? Well, besides you kid, I guess. My mother is Korean. She says, “OOOH, he eat rice and noodle. That good, girl!”
All the advice I have has already been offered or you tried it already. I just wanted to say, you are not alone in this! I know A LOT of kids like this. My daughter will try what I make for dinner, but 9 out of 10 times she won’t like it. So, I get up and get her what she will eat. For my daughter it is turkey slices, cheese chunks (has to be cut in chunks), pickles and a pear with the skin cut off. I know it is healthy, but it is such a PAIN to cater to her. But, I will not send her to bed hungry. I can’t sleep on an empty stomach, so I am not about to make her try to sleep on an empty stomach either. Lots of people disagree with me, but I don’t care.
Good luck and if he will eat spaghetti he is getting lots of good nutrients from the tomatoes sauce. Got to look at the positives.
Twitter: themommymess
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That would be a great positive if he ate the sauce. LOL!! At least I know I’m not alone in this.
Good luck with this one – gag reflex and texture aversions are hard to overcome, for both the kid and parents. What if you tried distracting him while he’s eating tepid (lukewarm & hopefully non-smelly) food? ie watching a video, or having his hands occupied with a deep sensory activity like playing in running water while you feed him (that’s how I have to cut my tactile-defensive son’s hair;)
Wish you both well xo
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Thanks, Angela. He does watch TV when he eats. If I didn;t let him do that, he’d definitley NEVER eat! LOL
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Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it
can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation.
My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views.
I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
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