We went out to research the weather during a recent science lesson, when we were quickly distracted by a stray cat.
This cat was not like most of the mangy, disease infested stray cats we usually see.
This one was cute, and it had personality.
It was meowing like crazy and begging for food.
science lesson: over.
My youngest: Let’s feed him, Mom.
My oldest: No! That’s gross!
Oh, sure. Why not? Let’s feed it.
Me: Let’s go in and find him some food.
Porch door: locked.
That’s weird.
Side door: locked.
No!
Bathroom window: locked.
Crap.
Cell phone: inside.
Mom in skimpy nightgown and no bra: check.
Two boys in pajamas: check, check.
Crap!
We have one neighbor. One.
If our neighbor isn’t home, we’re screwed.
If our neighbor is home and I have to be seen in this dress, I’m screwed.
Sigh…
Me: C’mon boys.
Oldest: Mom, you’re not walking over there like that.
Me: Sweetheart. I have no choice. Do you have any other ideas?
We head over to the neighbor’s house as I plan what I might say…
Me: Hi, Pat. We’re really sorry to bother you. Please forgive the way I’m dressed. I wasn’t planning on going out in this. The boys and I are locked out of the house and…
What’s that? No, I’m not a hooker at night. I just like to dress like one for bed.
Hmmm? Yeah, I know it’s nearly 11 am, but we homeschool. We don’t really get dressed.
Reality…
Pat the neighbor: Oh, sure dear. Of course you can use the phone.
Pat: Your dress? Oh, please, Dear. Don’t worry about it!
Pat: Do your boys want some chocolate?
Pat: Oh, I should put on some coffee.
Pat: How about an orange?
Me: Thank you! I really appreciate this!
I pick up the phone.
I Can’t call hubs. He’s far away on a job and this will just tick him off.
I’ll call my sister! She’s close.
Wait. What’s her phone number?
Crap!
Me: Boys, what’s Aunt Becky’s phone number?
Blank stares
Pat the neighbor: You don’t know your sister’s phone number, Dear?
Sigh.
Think, think…
My dad! I remember his cell number! I’ll call him.
Ring…ring…ring…voicemail.
I’m sure he doesn’t recognize this number. Damn caller ID!
Try again.
ring…ring…ring…
Nothing.
Me: I’m sorry, Pat. This is the only phone numebr I know.Yeah. That is strange. I agree. All my numbers are programmed into my phone and my phone is inside and…oh never mind.
Try him again!
Ring…ring…ri-DAD!!
Oh, Thank God.
It’s me. I sort of have a 9-1-1.
***********
My Dad eventually showed up and saved the day.
In the meantime, my boys got to listen to Pat the neighbor tell us about the time her family came over from Ireland in 1954, how her sister miraculously survived Polio at the age of 16, and how she met her husband at a dance that same year, fell in love, and lived happily ever after.
I guess it was a good day for history instead.
It’s nice to know that even when you’re dressed like a hooker, a good neighbor will be willing to help you anyway.
Neighbors: Thank God I have just one.
*********
Mama Kat’s Prompt #3: Neighbors.
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I think I love that you braved going to the neighbors even though you were skimpily dressed. I don’t know that I would have. Sounds like it was a much better day for History instead of Science.
Twitter: themommymess
says:
The history was much more fun. And how about that life lesson?
Your neighbor sounds like a pretty great lady. Locking yourself out of the house is the worst!
Alison at Mommy is a Power Ranger recently posted..Bad Neighbors
Twitter: themommymess
says:
She’s so nice!! Thank goodness she was home!
Ahhh!!! I completely forgot you made the switch right before I went on spring break! Thankfully I saw your pretty face in someone’s comment sections and headed over. This post was fantastic! I laughed so hard!! This was the stuff they put into sitcoms…like Modern Family. I could totally see this as you told it!
Okay, so now that I found you…you’ll see more of me. Congrats on the new site!!! It looks AMAZING!!
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thanks Kristen!!I’m glad you found me. I really messed up my feeds, so I think I’ve lost many of the readers I had. Boo hoo…
I’m also glad you laughed! It was pretty funny!
So, I’m glad you found it!
I would have died.
But, you gotta do what ya gotta do…I guess when left no other choice, you have to ask your neighbor a favor bra-less.
& I’m totally relieved that I’m not the only one who spends most of the day in my ‘jamas
Samantha recently posted..The Easter Post That Almost Wasn’t…
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Oh, we are always in pjs. It’s ridiculous!
What an amazing neighbor you have! And you only need one neighbor is she’s going to turn out that amazing.
Glad the boys got their history in, but what DID happen to that cat?
Tiffany recently posted..These are a few of my favorite things…
Twitter: themommymess
says:
She is the nicest lady! The cat! That darn thing! We never saw it again. I left food out, and it ate it(or something did), but it never came back.
Laughing. I am sure you were not in that moment but the way you tell the story is too funny! Getting locked out stinks…I have had it happen before but thankfully I was not in my pjs.
Jenny recently posted..because being a sahm does have some perks
Twitter: themommymess
says:
It was pretty darn funny. In moments like that, all you an do is laugh.
Twitter: MyPixieBlog
says:
I totally love this. And your neighbor sounds awesome. Hey, desperate times call for walking your skimpy lingerie over to your one neighbor’s house to use the phone to dial the one number you can recall from memory. I don’t know any of the numbers either. I’d be completely screwed in your situation.
Were you ever able to bring food to the cat??
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Twitter: themommymess
says:
Your comment made me laugh! Yes, we did feed the cat, but then it never came back. Darn thing! It’s all his fault…
I love you more every day…
we don’t get dressed either…and I don’t homeschool, I get take my pants and bra off as soon as I walk in the door from anywhere…
when we’re getting ready to go anywhere all the kids yell, go help mom find her clothes!
ah yes, the things memories are made from…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..The Crotch Hole
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Holly, you are so sweet! I love you!
I’m glad I am not the only who doesn’t get dressed. It’s a ridiculous trend here.
I need a neighbor like that!
Great story and lots of great lessons for your boys.
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Thanks! Her history actually went perfectly with the unit we’re doing! It’s funny how God works.
Yeah for good neighbors.. who are home!
Kimberly recently posted..KIA[2]
Twitter: themommymess
says:
Exactly! Thank God they were home!
Thank God we have awesome neighbors because they’ve seen me in all kinds of awkward situations.
I love the way you tell a story!
Jen @ Dear Mommy Brain recently posted..Food Waste Friday | Struggling
Too funny! I’ve been in similar situations so I totally understand where you are coming from. When we first moved into our house I always made sure I was fully dressed or at least in modest attire before going outside. Now, not so much. Luckily my neighbors are the non judgmental type! We don’t really “get dressed” most days either
**Stopping by from Mama Kat’s**
Lacey recently posted..Oooh Looky Looky!
Hurray for good neighbors!
Patrice recently posted..52 Card Pickup – Week 15
What a lovely neighbor!
Who gets dressed for homeschool anyway?
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Toca Boca!
What a nice neighbor! It’s great that you and your sons were able to make a real friend. Hopefully, now that the ice is broken, it will continue.
The Literary Lioness recently posted..These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things . . .
Hee! Love this post!
(And ohmygoodness the hooker lines! You slay me!
)
I’m so glad that you got a hole of your dad!
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