Raising a teen is one thing. I think raising a teen with Asperger’s is quite another.
Infamous adolescent behavior is beginning to rear it’s ugly head in our home, and I sit back and watch.
It’s like an out of body experience. I see it all happening. I see me standing in the kitchen agape and clueless. I try to tell her “It’s OK. He’s just hormonal.”, but I don’t think she can hear me.
Most days are an emotional roller coaster. One minute it’s the end of the world topped with an eye roll and attitude, the next minute it’s the best day ever with smiles and jokes I don’t get. The confusing jokes and smiles are usually timed inappropriately and come too soon after the attitude and eye roll. I mean, really. Can I get like five minutes to regroup from you hating me before I’m expected to laugh at a joke I don’t even understand?
Then, I’m the meanest mom in the world again, because I didn’t get it and I didn’t laugh. Enter eye roll and attitude…
I’m so confused. Does he love me or hate? I just can’t figure it out.
Thanks to his quirks, you can multiply all that awkward timing by like 400. All the reminders you give a teen to clean up after themselves, get their schoolwork done, and handle regular everyday tasks without being nagged? Mulitply those reminders by 1,000. I get so aggravated.
It’s like Groundhog’s Day here everyday. Ya know? That movie with Bill Murray? He wakes up everyday and it’s the same day over and over. That’s me. I’m Bill Murray. Only I’m prettier and Asian and I’m not hot for Andie McDowell. But, in general that’s my life. I open my eyes and realize I have t do it all again.
Then, I feel awful for being frustrated, because I remember he’s a little different. He may not look different, but he is. I try to remind myself to not do what the word does to him, and forget that.
It’s hard to find the balance between raising a teenager and raising a teenager with quirks.
I know he has trouble with everyday things like organization, daily tasks, sensory issues get in the way of focus. I know all of this. But, I still have to prepare him for the world. What’s the balance between accommodating and enabling?
Because the bottom line? The world isn’t going to accommodate him. He has to learn to figure life out, and he has to figure it out without me.
It’s hard having a teenager. Period.