If you plan to judge-skip over my blog today. If you’re an IRL creeper who knows me personally and doesn’t admit they read, you’re in for a treat of personal information. Enjoy. Not everyone agrees with my topic today. Oh well.
Six months ago my husband and I sat in our attorney’s office as he told us it would be in our best interest financially to include our home in our bankruptcy. My heart sank. That was not an option!
We’ve been hit hard by this economy over the last few years. I lost my job as a title agent in 2007. It brought me home to my boys, but it’s been hard. My husband works in construction, and that has been one crazy nightmare after the other. I don’t have to go into all the details of this economy. Many of you face the same struggles.
Very long story short, we decided to seek counsel on filing for bankruptcy this past summer. We made the appointment with the intentions of wiping out debt we had no means to pay anymore, and starting over. We did not expect to get the advice we got. Which was to make the choice to include our home in the bankruptcy as well. There was no way I was going to consider it. This is our home.
My oldest was only four when we bought it. It’s the only house he really remembers being in. We’ve spent almost ten years here. My husband proposed to me in this hallway. We brought our youngest home from the hospital and layed him in his bassinet in this livingroom. We’ve celebrated milestones, birthdays, nursed sick children, giggled with well ones, shared life here, shared every memory I can think of here. This is our home. How could I let it go? Just like that.
As the attorney started rambling on about the financial side of things. I just couldn’t focus. All I could think about was…no way! He continued to advise us that including the home is the smartest thing we could do financially. We owe 120K, it’s not worth more than 40K. That’s right. You heard me. $40,000.00!
It’s old, small, and in need of repairs we do not have the money to fix. The septic is shot. There’s all sorts of problems. If we included this home in the bankruptcy, we would be able to purchase another one down the road. One that’s newer, bigger, and worth what we pay for it. Prices are so low, we may find something much better and still pay off before we would have paid this one off. Our current mortgage is a 30yr. term. We’d still be sitting in this shoebox, flushing our septic out for the four-hundreth time, by the time we could pay off a newer, nicer home.
Sure, we’ve outgrown this shoebox ten times! Sure, I would love to get out from under this mortgage. Sure, lots of things…
But, this is our home.
I get that it makes the best sense financially. I get that it’s probably a very wise choice.
But, it’s our home.
After months and months of prayer, thought, and torturous decision making, we’ve decided to let the house go. It was probably the hardest decison I’ve ever had to make. We’ve faced humiliating truths, and judgement from family members. We’ve gone through a roller coaster of emotions every day. We’ve broken the news to the kids. They took it really well! I know in my head that it’s the best thing we can do for a our financial future. In my heart, I just don’t even know.
We’ve been discharged. It’s time to move on. For the first time in almost ten years we will rent. My kids are going to have to experience a move. I know they’re going to be fine. I’ve had a lot of time to get used to the idea. There’s a lot of pros. It could be fun. I know we’ll have more space. I know we’ll find the perfect house to make a temporary home out of. It’s just going to be hard to leave.
A new chapter is beginning. Sometimes that’s exciting. But today, it’s bittersweet.